Showing posts with label Joan Blondell. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Joan Blondell. Show all posts

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Hair Drama

It all started last Tuesday....

My long-time client, actress Evelyn Brent, came in for her weekly appointment.  She said she wanted an overhaul and that she'd like to have a perm.  "No problem", I chirped.  She's a great tipper anyway, and I knew this was going to get me some extra Christmas money.  So I get her wrapped and under the perm machine and then I go back to the break room for a cigarette.

There sits Donna Lethal staring at the push broom, giggling.  So I go, "Hey" and she says, "I have a present for you.  Close your eyes and open your mouth."  Well she makes this amazing fudge every year so I'm thinking, 'cool'.  I close my eyes and open my mouth and she throws this pill so far into the back of my throat, that I immediately swallow it.

"Merry Christmas" she purrs and starts to leave.  She gets to the door and turns around, and with a look of complete awe says, "You're really beautiful."  She glides around the corner.  Just as I was musing about just what substance she was on, the next thing I knew, time and my mind were locked in a race to see which could bend the furthest.

With my next lucid thought, I glanced at the wall clock and realized that 3 hours had passed.  Shit-Evelyn!  I ran out and got her unhooked from the machine, had her washed, and put her in my chair with her back to the mirror.  For the next 45 minutes I put every product in the shop on her hair and worked my ass off and finally got it looking pretty good.  She gave me a wad of cash and a kiss on the cheek and left.  Whew, I thought, that was a close one!

So Thursday in comes Joan Blondell.  She had seen Evelyn the day before and now she wants a perm.  (clearly Evelyn hadn't washed all the product out of her hair yet)  "Fab idea doll!  Follow me," I said.  I took her back, prepped her and got her under the machine and brought her a telephone.


As I started to head for the break room, Donna caught my eye and gave me the high sign.  'Oh no you don't' I thought and decided I'd be better served if I just straightened  and restocked the product shelves instead.  Just as I was putting out the last New Year's Eve tiara, I heard this blood curdling high pitched screech.  It was TJB, one hand on his pearls the other over his heart.  I wheeled around to the direction of his stare, and there was Evelyn:


She was completely out of her mind screaming, "You!  You've ruined my hair!  Ruined my Career!!  RUINED MY LIFE!!!"

All of this in front of Joan.


Before I could do anything to stop them, they had both managed to unhook Joan and the ran out of the place.

I turned around and everyone in the salon was staring at me.  Except for Donna Lethal who was nowhere to be seen......